The Strawhats Have Lost All Sanity(or me)
by Captaininja
Summary: This story is indescribable...in short it's weird. WARNING-Hardcore Crackfic! Some events that occur: Luffy enters a parallel univers through a washing machine and turns into George Bush, the strawhats fight god and satan , someone chews on a shoe. Read to learn how and why this and the other stuff that happens...


Luffy jumped up from underneath the ground panting with his eyes widened. He had a dream he was George Bush but poor so she had to work at a strip club to feed her kid SHLERDERRR! who was actually Miley Cyrus and a gay juice was scared or so she said...

He really found it awesome.

"MANFEEEEEEEEEEEEET" Luffy called.

"What bitch?" Sanji said walking up to him.

"Put the dildo in the washing machine"

"Why"

"Because I like mayonnaise" Luffy started rolling around on the hexagon lemon floor.

"Oh my god, sorry for questioning you I'll do it right away"

Sanji took the dildo out of Yoda's ass and then put it in the washing machine MACHINEYYYYYY.

OOOOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Then Luffy jumped in the washing machine which lead her to a parallel universe where her dream would become reality. But first she had to bang a guy in order to have the baby. He drove in her car looking for someone and shot someone in the brain, then she decorated her car with gore.

"Oh my god what is on the car? Gore?" the mysterious man asked who had a funny moustache.

"Yes" Luffy said, although she wasn't Luffy in this universe she was George Bush...

"I like violence" the dude said.

The mysterious moustache man who had a funny moustache threw a pretty lady at Luff yand they had sex and she instantly had a baby because he had super strong sperm.

SUPPPPPPPPPPPERRRR DICKS

League of SUPERRRRRR DICKS!

Hitler got raped by a big manly duck and killed himself. It turned out the baby was ugly and Obama didn't want a ugly baby so he sold it to human traffickers. Bush then travelled back to the normal world where everyone else was and where he was known as Luffy but it wouldn't be normal anymore because Luffy was returning and he's deluded. When Luffy got back Zoro hit him in the head with a metal rod and then he played LEGOS AND MONEYS with ducks, rainbow ones!

Nami was sitting on snake's head listening to music like always being very antisocial which made the snake angry because he was bored and had nobody to talk to so he decide to bite her neck. He chucked her of his head and then was going up to her but was stopped by being squashed to death by Sanji.

"EWWWW DIE BASTARAD YOU MUST BE BLACKBEARD'S UGLY KID WHO PERVED ON NAMI SAN, KID DIEEEEEEEEE I SAY DIE AND NEVER RETURN" Usopp screamed while stepping on him.

"That's not my kid" said Zoogiis. Zoogis was the fused transformed version of the Blackbeard and his wife. It looked like a bid mutated piece of shit. BIG SMELLY SHIT!

Pray to god he hears you.

"Here she is!" shouted Robin chucking her towards Ussop.

Usopp didn't want to catch it because he hated it so he stepped to the side and let it pass him and hit a tree. After it hit the tree Usopp felt bad so he went up to it then got one of Sanji's best knives and severed its head.

"That was mean" someone said.

"No I put her out of her misery she won't have to live with her butt ugly hairy cheese bum parents anymore and won't have to put up with us lot bullying her, so technically killing her was the humane thing to do" Usopp said.

"Hi every-"

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Sanji shouted walking towards everyone.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU LOT"

"WHY WOULD YOU USE ONE OF MY BEST KNIVES TO KILL THE UGLY ASS BABY"

"Here take her" Chopper said pulling a pretty slut out of a hat and handing him toSanji.

"Why should I? Not that I'm complaining but still" Sanji said.

"Because you're not yourself when you're horny"

Sanji walked off with the slut somewhere and returned after...a while

"Better?" Chopper asked.

"Better" Sanji nodded.

"Yeah that's exactly what it is" someone else said but who cares who said it, who even pays attention to everyone who's talking.

Blackbeard and Spandam had untransformed now from ZOOGISS! Not that anyone cares, everything in their life was a failure including their birth certificates which were just apology letters from the condom factory.

"Blackbeard and Spandam you do realise that ugly thing one of you popped out of yourself is dead" said Nami.

"NOOOOOOOO" They cried in unison

"SANJI WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?"

"You guys go argue somewhere else you're ruining the taste of my booze" said Zoro.

"Yeah Zoro! You might've thought she's ugly and I think your sword is ugly so should I kill it !" said Spandam. Zoro was now super mega pissed off because some anorexic mutated piece of shit had taken his last booze bottle and her even bigger mutated piece of shit hoe had called his sword ugly.

"That's it say your last goodbyes" Zoro whispered, steam forming around her.(isn't this Luffy's job? meh who cares,steam is cool)

"KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" he missed them the first time so the energy wave ended up hitting the ground and made an opening to hell. Chopper and Zoro then got the uglies and chucked them into hell where they would rape each other every day and be raped by blind people in hell for an eternity.I feel bad for those blind rapists.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAA KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA KYAAAAAAAAAAAA" Franky and Luffy went past riding on the back of some random old dude who happened to be some guy he kidnapped for horse rides and free food. Then they fell into hell and everyone face palmed. But surprisingly he shot back out two second later with a lot of meat, a unicorn and a hell load of money.

"How can you be back?" Robin said. Then she slapped herself in the head with a condom and went unconscious.

"Satan thought I was so annoying he wanted me to leave but I didn't so he paid me with all this!"

"Wait, so where's Franky?" asked Luffy.

"Here I am" he said. God had chosen him to be an angel but it turned out it was a mistake so he sent him back to Earth.

"Why! Why you come back you bloody bastard, eat this" Sanji said chucking his shoe at him.

Franky caught the shoe in his mouth then turned into a dog and started barking and chewing the shoe, Luffy joined him but he wasn't a dog he transformed into a My Little Pony pony. Then he transformed back to a people but kept chewing the shoe because chewing shoes is fun and phones don't taste so good and neither does paper, paper tastes of nothing.

"You know I went back in time expecting to have a pussy but instead it turned out he had a DICK!"

"So I fucked Sanji's hot mommy in the back of the car" Luffy said.

All of a sudden God and the Satan appeared on Earth and declared they were about to have a battle. Obviously God would win or would he...

There was one person among them who didn't like that, didn't like it at all...

That person was Luffy.

But was he the only person...

"Listen to me clearly, Heaven belongs to you God and Hell belongs to you Satan but this is Earth and it's my turf, our turf" she said pointing to the rest of her friends and they all agreed except the flamboyant gay one holding a balloon.(I like Usopp but in this story everyone is weird including me not that I'm in this story or am I...DUN DUN DUN IT'S A MYSTERY...)

"WHAT! LUFFY ARE YOU CRAZY! WHY ARE YOU PICKING A FIGHT WITH GOD AND SATAN" shouted Usopp.

"Usopp fuck off"

"ANYWAY KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Let's see if you're really immortal"

Everyone ran up to god and the devil and started slapping them with sweet wrappers and then hammers.

"Hey Nami can I use some of your lip gloss?" asked Brook.

"Nope"

"Brook are you gay?" said Zoro.

"Yes"

"Well that explains all the banana's in his room" Zoro said.

Sanji froze and grew pale.

"What happened to you? Seen a ghost or something?" Zoro asked.

"Actually yes but I ate one of those bananas" he said.

Then everyone laughed at him which pissed him off so he chucked used condoms at everyone including God and Satan so both of them excepted defeat and went back home. Basically at the end of the day Sanji had the biggest part in beating me cuz she's a 's right I'm a ninja.

NEEHAO MOTHERFUCKER!(that makes no sense... but still NEEHAO MUTHERFUCKERS!)

Then everyone went to sleep, and Luffy being the idiot he is went to sleep in the freezer but he was fine because he's Luffy and nothing could kill him or could it...

It was all nice and peaceful but then suddenly Nami heard a sound and woke up.

"Spongebob? who? wha?"Nami scratched the back of her neck.

She opened her eyes and there he was right in front of her, Darth Vader. He was dressed in a light pink bunny shirt with matching bunny slippers and stripy blue boxers.

"Why are you dressed like that?"

"The thing is I just came back from a hen party with Voldemort, Donald Duck and the gay miley cyrus dude."

Then both of them danced together and woke everyone up so everyone joined in and then everyone had sex with someone, not with each other but with other people...probably...maybe.

So basically none of them were virgins anymore. Luffy was drinking coke but then he accidently swallowed the can and it got stuck in her throat so he then came back to life and ate roasted frog penis.

The End.

Bang like a cuckoo bird and drink like a pea. Hehe pee. Penis. Everytime you say happiness you say penis. Hehehee.

* * *

Yes yes I know what you're thinking, I was drunk when I wrote this,right?

Well that's not true, I was just high, high in the skies because I'm batman. Lol joking, I wasn't on anything but yes I am batman.

To be honest when i read this again a while later it was weird even to me, it was originally wrote about me and my friends but I just edited the names and some other parts, some of my friends were not pleased but they still found enjoyed it.


End file.
